Episode 19

March 2022 Horoscopes: Life-Changing Events

Published on: 14th March, 2022


And welcome to the world, baby Oliver! Susan announced that a new little Pisces joined her family in February. And while Laura and Alex are overjoyed by this news, they have a lot to say about the fact that the horoscopes weren’t published until March 5, leaving them to fend for themselves not only during this month’s new moon, but also on the luckiest day of the year.  

In this episode, Laura and Alex dissect Susan’s Note, which is chock full of gems, including how she helped her daughter after baby Oliver appeared on the scene, staffing changes at Astrology Zone headquarters, and her thoughts on the lengthy approval process for her Year Ahead 2022 e-book (yet to be published…). The gals let Pisces, the ruling royalty of the zodiac, know all the good things that February will bring (love! money! perfume!), and break down the forecasts for Taurus (it’s career time) and Scorpio (get ready for true love–again). 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 01:50

Pisces: 12:35

Taurus: 21:37

Scorpio: 29:42

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.



Laura: Hello, Alex!

Alex: Hi, Laura, how are you?

Laira: I’m feeling so much better now we injected enthusiasm into our voices.

Alex: Good job to us.

Laura: Yeah, good job. I mean, we have to be enthusiastic because we have finally read the March horoscope that Susan Miller has finally released. And she did say that there was the luckiest day of the year, and a lot of positive things were happening. So, I feel like I’m trying to match her energy because the days waiting for the horoscopes to arrive were very dead.

Alex: Very dead. And it was many days. She didn't post until March 5th.

Laura: No. That's getting on the way later side for her. I feel like her sweet spot is like March second, third, like the second or third of the month, and then on the fourth, you’re like, okay, and then passed that you’re like, ok, but like for real.

Alex: Yes, because at the second or third you're not that concerned that you’ve missed a lot. But by the sixth or the fifth you probably missed the new moon.

Laura: Right, and this month the new moon was on March 2nd. So, I feel like all the other astrologists that I follow were posting about it, and I was like, well, I wouldn't know anything about that because Susan hasn't posted. But she had a lot to say about why she was late in the Note from Susan. I think we should get into it.

Alex: Let's get into it.

Laura: Ok, well, the first sentence is great: “You might be wondering what is going on with me.” Correct, Susan. Correct. We are. The answer is: my life changed dramatically in the best sense. Like whoa. Whoa.

Alex: Yeah. I mean, Susan is prone to exaggeration. But even for her that is dramatic.

Laura: So, the first thing we should say is congratulations to Susan Miller. She is a grandmother. baby Oliver was born to her daughter, Diana, who lives in Los Angeles. So, baby Oliver, who is a Pisces?

Alex: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah. Ok! Happy birthday to baby Oliver, the newest Pisces in the Susan Miller matriarchy.

Alex: That's right, and she even included a photo of baby Oliver.

Laura: Very cute.

Alex: Very cute. I should just say I had a hamster as a child named Oliver, so I approve of this name.

Laura: Great. I mean yes, he looks adorable. His eyes are open. That's hard to get a picture like that of a newborn. So, the reason why Susan Miller was so late is that she says that she had moved to Los Angeles to help out her daughter Diana in the months right around when Oliver was before he was born or right after he was born. Susan also included a lot of details about like the birth and the conception and things that we feel like are medical privacy so we're not gonna get into.

Alex: Yeah, I think Diana may have been just too tired to argue with her mother over this, but there’s just a lot of stuff in there that I thought, I don't know that I would want millions of readers to see this.

Laura: Not possibly. But you know I don't follow Diana on Instagram, so maybe she just told people herself. Not sure. But anyway, the baby is healthy and happy. So is Diana. She needs a longer recovery, but she's doing well, and Susan is there to help take care of everyone. And Susan did say that she had pledged to help Diana 100 percent, and then the next sentence was: Baby gifts started to arrive; I was in charge of collapsing boxes. And I was like, I’ve been with people immediately postpartum. There's a couple more things that you can usually help out with but I’m glad she got the boxes.

Alex: I feel like they didn't, I don't know, I mean, I don't want to like read into it too much, but like they didn't want to give for one of those other important jobs. So, they were like, no, no, this is really important. Box collapsing.

Laura: But she did go on later to tell us all the things she was doing, so I was like, oh, ok, ok, but I just like the: I flew out to Los Angeles, a baby was born, and I'm collapsing the boxes. And I was like, you know, every bit helps. Every bit helps. But that was why she was late because she was writing at odd hours, but it was like she was on New York time, not LA time. And then we got a second piece of very interesting information, she said: my brand-new assistant, Audrey, had to speak with me often from New York for urgent reasons. And we were like, ooh, regime change. Courtney, her former assistant, has now left the Susan Miller Company. Courtney, if you’re out there and you want to do any interviews, we are here. We are available. So, Audrey, welcome to the Susan Miller Astrology Zone family. Happy to have you. Hope you settle in just like baby Oliver.

Alex: Yes. Look at this. So many new people.

Laura: Yeah, wow. Wow. So, then Susan did say in the middle of writing and dealing with her taxes and her new assistant, she was cooking nutritious meals, doing laundry, ordering groceries, and keeping things going. So, the only time she could concentrate was at night, but with many distractions she fell behind. But she wanted to make sure that we read March because, and tell your friends to read March, because it's the best month of the year. We were like, oh, well, thank you.

Alex: We’ve heard that before.

Laura: Yeah, exactly.

Alex: I mean, you know, she really talked up February and then February really—

Laura: Did not live up. I didn't feel–

Alex: No, personally for either of us. And then also the world is a mess.

Laura: Yeah, a lot of things happened in February. Yeah, okay, so that's an interesting point that I don't think she touched on in the horoscopes, but I was noticing that like people were asking her to comment on social media, and she was saying, like, you should follow this other person who talks about world events, and I was like, that is true, it is very rare that Susan Miller really talks about like a global situation, or like, Susan Miller Epidemiologist was kind of a departure from her usual. Like she doesn't usually like, every once in a while, she’ll pick a celebrity or say like, “Oh, this is why this is happening,” you know. But like she doesn't really talk about global events. So anyway, she was saying, while it was late, on social media, she was telling everybody to read her Apple iPhone app because then you can get your forecasts, and we were like, but we all want the monthly, and the daily, I don't know. I mean if you pay extra there are longer daily things, but I’m not satisfied. Not satisfied.

Alex: Not at all. And her claim that you don't miss a beat if you have the app is untrue.

Laura: Is untrue. You do miss a beat. Because we're waiting for the monthly. So anyway, it was disappointing to wait so long. You know, the world does continue to spin, and you know, I'm glad that Susan Miller is spending this time with her grandson.

Alex: I am, too, and we were introduced to Susan Miller Box Collapser.


Alex: I do remember this. That was a disappointment.

right, because the Year Ahead:

Alex: No. There apparently is quite a review process for Apple.

Laura: Let’s just quote her, and then I will try to explain to people.

Alex: Ok, let me read what she says: “Apple has to actually read the book to approve it. They have to make certain there is no porn in the manuscript. I would never have anything offensive in the book. But they have to check everyone's manuscript.” So, I just I like went back and read that again and surely that can't be what's happening. And then also I love that, like, the worst possible scenario for Susan is that somehow porn crept into her manuscript, which, like how? Why? I have so many questions.

Laura: I mean, Venus and Mars. You just never know with those two. You just never know. So, what she was saying was that it will be offered on Kindle and iPad, and she'll tell us when it's ready but it's not yet because of the editor and this thing about Apple I’m going to try to explain to people. She says they have to read it. As someone who has self-published a few books, let me just tell you I don't believe that Apple reads it. They have like bots, and there is a review process, and it's true that they're looking for content that goes against their terms and conditions before they approve something. And what I find very funny about this is it’s her horoscope, so like in my experience, the review process for a manuscript is like 24 or 48, 72 hours, not like weeks and weeks. But also, like depending on the format that you offer, there's a very easy way to do this, and I have a feeling Susan Miller has a few extra steps to this. But I'm also laughing because I write romance. So, they are looking for porn in my books.

Alex: That's true. This is a legitimate thing for you, but probably not for Susan.

Laura: Right. And so, like I like you have, to the way you write your blurb and things on Apple, you’re couching phrases so that people, readers, who are looking for it understand that there might be some explicit sexual content, but it's not porn. I also don't think that Apple really says porn, they just have certain things that are against their terms of service, which are, like, you know, legit illegal things, like so. But the part about like they're looking for offensive content is true. It's just that I'm not really sure what's going on here because in my experience the review process is like sometimes a few days but not a lengthy… Apple’s not reading the whole thing.

Alex: And she thinks that someone sitting down with this book examining it for questionable material.

Laura: It’s the same thing with Amazon is they have bots for a similar review process where they're just they're checking your blurb and your description, and they're checking the content. I just like that she was like, there could be porn. These stars! Wow.

Alex: Listen, we know the planets do a lot of things.

there will be the Year Ahead:

Alex: Depends on how fast this person reading it is.

Laura: Yeah, it depends on how fast Apple reads it! I mean, like, wow. So, anyway, she said, “In the meantime, enjoy March to the fullest. I've never seen a month so full of brilliant aspects all at once and at play this month. I promise that March: you will love it.” This is where my cynicism kicks in.

Alex: Exactly. But I don't even see it as cynicism. I see it as you learning from past forecasts where she has said the exact same thing to you and either nothing has happened, or something terrible has happened.

Laura: Right. Exactly, exactly. I mean, you know, every once in a while she hits it out of the park, and I’ll be whatever, whatever, Susan, and then something happens and I’ll go back, and look at it and she was right. But she said a lot of things about February that just were kind of like meh. Anyway, should we get into March?

Alex: Let's do it. Let's start with a little happy birthday to Pisces!

Laura: Happy birthday, Pisces! Happy birthday, baby Oliver! The newest Pisces in the Susan Miller clan.

Alex: And Susan Miller, in her own words: baby Oliver, you are king or queen of the Zodiac this month!

Laura: Wow! wow! How does it feel to be king or queen of the zodiac? That is the first sentence, and she also said that March is likely to bring reward and happiness and be so outstanding that it could only be called life-changing in the best sense, which is the same phrasing that she said about baby Oliver. She had, like, a life-changing event in the best sense.

Alex: Wait. Do you think she's a Pisces?

Laura: Who, Susan?

Alex: Susan?

Laura: I forget what her sign in.

Alex: We don't know. She won't say. But I'm wondering now if she is a Pisces because she repeated that phrase.

Laura: Hmm, but baby Oliver is a Pisces, so I think she’s just—oh! You’re right. I think this was just on her mind as she was writing these horoscopes.

Alex: I think you’re probably right.

Laura: Because usually if there’s one peach of a full moon, we get a second peach of a full moon in a different horoscope. I think so. But anyway, life-changing for Pisces, certainly life changing for baby Oliver. He got born.

Alex: Whoa. What’s a bigger life change than that?

Laura: I can only think of one other option, and we're not gonna bring it up.

Alex: Nope.

ne. And there was a lot about:

Alex: Yeah, that was very specific for Susan.

Laura: Yeah, very specific.

Alex: Oh, I hope that happens.

Laura: Pisces, let us know if you get two offers. There was a lot about being like artistic and like there’s a lot of career focus like it was a career. It was going to be very good. You might get opportunities. Could be something creative you know and because Pisces’ are ruled by Neptune it could be in art, painting, music, poetry, acting, fashion, photography, film and animation, or costume design.

Alex: Or perfume development.

Laura: Yeah, perfume development. Also exciting. Just some examples, you know. And she says, because you will be the ruling royalty of the zodiac, you will have Jupiter all to yourself in Pisces and it's the planet of good fortune. So that's why this year and March in particular will also be extraordinary. So, I hope that's true for you, Pisces. An extraordinary life-changing month.

Alex: Me, too. And then you know Susan can't resist. She goes into love.

Laura: Goes into love.

Alex: What's going to happen to you with love, Pisces. She says Mars is now about to enter Aquarius on March 6th, and with him is the love of his life, Venus. These two planets when together generate sparks of love. That is their job, and they do it well. And we had been talking about this in the last episode. We were confused. We thought they only met once a year but actually they are meeting twice this year.

Laura: Whoa.

Alex: So that's why were confused. But she says they're meeting on March 6 and it's a good day to schedule a blind date, meet someone at a party, like, some kind of surprise date. You don't know what's going to happen, but it could be very positive, and that your prospects for finding true and enduring love have never been better.

Laura: Wow! I mean that's an endorsement. I’m glad I’m not a Pisces because I didn't leave the house today so surprise love couldn't find me.

Alex: No. No one was gonna find me while I was cleaning my bathroom.

Laura: Yeah, I was doing my taxes. But you know, Pisces, I hope this weekend you were out and about.

Alex: Yeah, I hope you weren’t also handwashing clothes.


Alex: Yeah. I love a nice shout-out to the ancient astrologers.

Laura: Love it. So, Jupiter is in Pisces. So, Pisces: enduring love. And then she had another great one: “Wait. There is more good news.” And then she broke this out into like another paragraph: “Venus will move into Pisces next month on April 5th until May 2nd,” and then a new paragraph: “Mars will follow Venus into Pisces from April 14 to May 24.” And I was like, whoa.

Alex: I mean, I was hooked by the way that you did that. I was like, tell me more!

Laura: So that these dates will be your very best periods for love and romance. So that would be April 5th until May 24th.

tainly won't feel that way in:

Laura: I was like, wow, wow, okay. And yep, March, April, and May are due to be some of your most important months of this year. So, Pisces get out your dancing shoes, like, something's going on.

Alex: Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Don't waste this time.

Laura: Yeah, don’t waste this time. And wait! There is more good news because the full moon of March 18th will fall on your opposite sign of Virgo and put a big spotlight on a relationship and love. If you've been dating seriously or already married, you may make plans now, and if you're dating, you might get engaged for your birthday, etc., etc. But if this doesn't resonate with you, if you are not married or dating, then you might be getting ready to hire a collaborator in business, and then here we go! Another long list of collaborations that could happen: agent, manager, business partner, new accountant, lawyer with a certain specialty, financial advisor, wedding planner, architect, interior decorator, landscaper, or even a wedding or event planner. Another great list from Susan.

Alex: That was the record, I think, so far for you, Laura. That was impressive.

Laura: Thank you.

Alex: I mean this horoscope was all good.

Laura: It was all good. The full moon is good, the new moon is good, around March 5th and 6th is good. And then she says something that, I forgot about this, the full moon is 1 day prior and 5 days after. So, March 17th to March 23th will still be in this good love period. And then she said that this month brings really good surprises.

Alex: Yes, and in terms of money, she said good things are coming. A bonanza, in fact.

Laura: A bonanza of money. Which, we’ve heard her say buckets of money, but we have not heard her say bonanza of money, Pisces.

Alex: So, Pisces, you're getting a bonanza of money mid-year, and extending into next year. So, I hope that’s true.

Laura: Yes, and she said this would start around the new moon in Aries, which is March 31st or April 1st. So, since Susan is late with her horoscopes, everybody just keep in mind the new moon, March 31st or April 1st, depending on your time zone, that is good for earned income for Pisces.

Alex: Yes, try to remember that. For three weeks from now.

Laura: Yes, so very strong, Pisces. Because she started off with: how does it feel to be the king or queen of the Zodiac? And she ends it with: it could be the time of your life.

Alex: Yeah, he says, the world is your oyster.

Laura: Wow! So, you know, I mean I think Susan’s feeling the love for Pisces, and she has a new Pisces grandbaby. She's feeling the love for Pisces in general. So happy birthday, Pisces. Susan Miller says the stars are in your corner.

Alex: Yes, enjoy. Happy birthday!

oroscope highlights for March:

Alex: Oh, that’s a nice idea.

Laura: Yeah, she also says the planets are migrating into your eleventh house of hopes and wishes so you may be working on a dream that's dear to your heart. The new moon on March 2nd— again horoscopes were published March 5th, so I didn't know this on March 2nd, but it was beneficent—it could mark the beginning of a dream you've long held and the eleventh house rules friendship as well as the house of joy. You can achieve anything you put your mind to doing. And I did find that a little bit heartening and like, thank you, thank you. She said that she loves the new moon because surprise planet Uranus will be sextiled to the Sun and the new moon, and it will be sprinkling you with one or possibly two breakthroughs regarding real estate. That was not personally in the cards for me, but she did have a lot to say about real estate. She basically said it's gonna be good. Think big. This is no ordinary month. No matter what you do, you can count on getting amazing family support for the goals you are working on now. So, if you need anything, ask your family, and they will be sympathetic to your needs.

So, I was like, that's encouraging, that's very nice. And she said again, the home and family sector will be tied into the luck you receive and a friend may be instrumental to your luck in the days and weeks of all the new moon March 2nd. Also, she was like, it might not be a home in real estate. It could be a podcast or idea for an app, or you could assemble a team. But whatever it is, it will be a spectacular month to materialize a dream or choose a dream and start working towards it. Then, we get into what I didn't know was: the luckiest day of the year will arrive March 5th when Jupiter meets the mighty Sun in your eleventh house of friendship, and this area of your chart covers your deepest hopes and wishes. So, this is a small segue where I did not know it was the luckiest day of the year, but I was taking a walk in a Battery Park, and just feet from me, I heard my name called, and it was Alex.

Alex: It was really only something that I think could occur on the luckiest day of the year.

Laura: I mean, I think so.

Alex: It was incredible

Laura: I mean, I had no idea that you were nearby. We had no idea that we were both walking in the park at the same time. And like usually when we see each other it's a pre-arranged meeting. But this was a surprise meeting because you went on a surprise long walk.

Alex: Surprise long walk. I did not expect to go that far. Yeah, it was, you know it was a nice day, but it wasn't like everyone was out and about. Really such a lovely surprise. And you know, can we thank the luckiest day of the year? Maybe.

Laura: Maybe. Maybe. I will say I would have been skeptical reading this, but then I was like, no, no, no, I ran into Alex as a surprise on the luckiest day of the year. Can't knock that. So I will believe Susan on that. Other things, I’m cynical. But anyway, so the luckiest day of the year was March 5th. I hope it was lucky for all of my fellow Tauruses. I don't know. But she said also: the days after March 4th through the 6th are so spectacular that any deal you make should do well. So, she said sign a contract or close on a house. This deal could bring you considerable profit.

Alex: Ok, well, keep your eyes open for deals.

Laura: Yeah, exactly. Everyone keep your eyes open for deals. It would also be a great time to start a new business or launch a new product. So that's exciting. She also said that foreign people will be lucky for you as well as any sort of import/export of goods, services, or ideas that you put into place. And you know we love it when she talks about the import/export of ideas.

Alex: She is obsessed with the import/export of ideas.

Laura: Like, what? What?

Alex: I would love to hear her explain what she means.

Laura: I'm like, is that digital communication? Is that like digital publishing? Like, what is the import/export of ideas? Is a podcast?

Alex: But that’s the thing. Is it an actual product?

Laura: I don't know! How do you import/export ideas other than like talk about them, or write them down and share them, right?

Alex: Right. I’m very, very confused. Courtney, again, if you know.

Laura: Courtney, if you can go on the podcast explained to us import/export of ideas. I don't know but Susan believes in it so I’m gonna keep thinking about it. If I think of anything where I could import/export my ideas—

Alex: Do it.

e going to be like busy until:

Alex: I know she thinks she's being motivating when she says like this planet won't come back for twenty-five years, but I find it a little scary.

Laura: Well, I was just like I better get it now because in twenty-five or twenty-eight years i'll be in my seventies, and I just don't think I’ll have the get up and go. I'll be like, oops, lesson not learned. But, anyway, to close out, she wanted to talk about the full moon of March 18th, and she said, you will have a spectacular time of friends and you will be poised to have an enormously romantic time. And March 17th Uranus will be in will be in sync and March 17 will be quite influential then to full moon so news should be amazingly positive. You might even have the chance to go on a trip. Definitely looks like you're getting a push for you to have a change of scene. And then she was giving a head’s up about the next new moon, which is March 31st or April 1st depending on your time zone. It will let up your twelfth house of privacy, so maybe you're going to have a break. But anyway, but then, back to your career you would have until April 14th to work on your career because that's when you lose Mars, your prestigious tenth house. So, work on your career throughout March and then mid-April you can go back to your social life y'all. But it's about career right now, Tauruses. So buckle up, buckaroos.

Alex: Ok, I hope all you Tauruses out there feel inspired.

Laura: I hope so. And good luck to us all.

Alex: Exactly. You can still take naps. It's ok.

Laura: Ok, great. Thank you. I plan to. Okay. Shall we move on to Scorpio?

Alex: Yes, all right, Scorpio. these are your horoscope highlights for March. I’m just gonna start by reading the woman herself. The way she starts this month is: you have reached a beautiful month in March, one of the best of the year, so elegant and refined it seems to have been made precisely with you in mind. It could turn out to be one of the best months—of the decade.

Laura: Whoa! Ok, Scorpio.

Alex: The emphasis was not mine. She put an em dash in there to build the suspense.

Laura: Oh, wow, ok.

Alex: Of the decade.

Laura: Wow, that’s like Shakespeare when you have to like follow the punctuation when you're like giving a speech, because, like, you to follow the what the emotional emphasis is based on the punctuation. So great job, Alex.

Alex: Thank you. That was my reading of Susan Miller.

Laura: Yeah, you’re welcome.

Alex: So yeah, lots of great things. The new moon of March 2nd is delicious. I hope, Scorpios, it was delicious for you.

Laura: Yeah, Alex, was it delicious? We wouldn't know. We couldn’t get the horoscope to tell us.

Alex: Yeah, I can't even remember March 2nd, but I’m pretty sure it was not delicious.

Laura: I don’t either.

Alex: Ok, so immediately: if you hope to find your one true love, you have a superb chance of doing so now. And then she says something that makes me think she's listening to the podcast: Of course, you have to be open to finding love and not be too skeptical. Alex.

Laura: Oh, Alex. What is this prerequisite for love? You want me to believe in it to get it?

Alex: That’s a lot to ask.

Laura: That’s a lot to ask a Scorpio.

Alex: You know, she says, if you're single go out and meet someone. I really enjoyed this part: This month is so magical that you may feel you stepped into an enchanting movie. Only this time the love story has you as the star. You are the one you discovered. I don't know that means.

Laura: You're the one that you discovered? Congratulations?

Alex: I don't know. Well then she changes course, and she said, the love of your life may be a baby. That’s the way she phrased it: the love of your live may be a baby.

Laura: Are we talking about age-gap romance here? Or are we talking about like progeny?

Alex: I mean, she phrased it rather unfortunately.

Laura: I mean she just had a grandbaby so perhaps that's like what's on her mind. But the phrasing around here is getting a little iffy.

Alex: It’s getting iffy. She goes from true love with like your partner to potential true love with the baby to then potential true love in terms of it manifesting as creativity. If you're not having the baby or finding the true love.

Laura: Gotcha.

Alex: Then she talks a bit about the luckiest day of the year. Yet again. I mean, you know, it only happens once a year. Blah blah blah, we didn't even know it was coming. Because we didn’t have the app. Whatever. I’m never getting over it.

Laura: No, we’re not.

Alex: In terms of career, she said: you may hear amazing news. You may present to a VIP. Lots of good things. You may be linked to a foreign person, which is, she said foreign people would be good for you. So, you know, who even knows? Then she says: every Scorpio will have reason to celebrate this month. I am sure of it. If your birthday happens to fall within five days of November 3rd to November 7th, you will get a second dip of brilliant luck. Now that is me.

Laura: Ok, great.

Alex: So, we will see.

Laura: Okay, second dip. Love a double dip of luck.

Alex: Yeah, who doesn’t? As she has done for many forecasts ow, she's talked about real estate for the Scorpio, and she says you might want to buy a house. She also said: if you want a fresh look and style to your decor, this could be a good time to recover a couch or something like that, you know, that's looking shabby. This might be the chance. Oh, and she says if you’re

thinking of giving a cocktail or dinner party, hope you already did it, Scorpio, because it should have been between March 4th and March 6th.

Laura: So how are we supposed to plan? Apparently, this whole weekend I was supposed to be like entertaining and meeting foreign VIPs and falling in love and getting things, but I didn't plan that.

Alex: There’s no other suggested dates for me to have a cocktail party, so now I’m just out of luck for doing that.

Laura: Yeah, sorry Alex. I would have come over.

Alex: She said, a friend will do something nice for you, and we'll make a kind gesture, and she's not exactly sure what that will be, and she didn't offer a list, but she said: I know you will be very grateful for your friend. So we'll see about that. Okay, she reminds us all of this new moon that's going to be March 31st/April 1st depending on where you live. Keep that in mind again. And you know, she ends by talking about love. This is the time Venus is entering Pisces. Romantic vibrations of March won’t fade as you reach April, they will continue and become even stronger.

Laura: In my mind, knowing how you feel about these kind of forecasts, it makes it sound like this, like long-term earthquake is happening and is actually like destabilizing.

Alex: Yeah, that is a good way to say it, and it means I'm gonna have to hear this again next month.

Laura: Oh, your favorite.

Alex: Anyway, she says it's going to be great, glorious, Scorpio! I hope it's true. I hope you all have a nice time. May March be better than February.

Laura: Okay, so look, Scorpios, if you had a great first few days in the month, we would love that for you. We're in the dark about the rest of the month, although the new moon, the full moon sounds good, and then, by the way, everybody, the next new moon will be before Susan has released the next horoscope. So, that's good, too. But the best part of this month was the first few days, and we didn't have any horoscopes to guide us. Do you think that, like, what she should just do is actually write the horoscopes, like, March 15 through April 15, and release those? And then we would like actually go with the zodiac signs kind of you know? How it's like the zodiac sign usually starts a few days at the end of the month, and then goes into—

Alex: I think she could do that, but I don't necessarily think that would make her be on time. She would just start later.

Laura: Yeah. Yeah.

Alex: I don't know. You know, this is free.

Laura: This is free. A free product.

Alex: And I'm very excited about baby Oliver.

Laura: Very excited about Baby Oliver. So glad that. he is here.

Alex: Yes, but every month there is not a baby Oliver appearing on the scene, and every month there's a ton of excuses for something that she knows is going to occur every month.

Laura: Yep. Well, that’s all I gotta say, really.

Alex: Yes, I’ve aired my grievances.

Laura: Okay, so all right. So, it's supposed to be positive. Alex and I are cynical because we feel salty about not getting heads up first. I mean. I remember in the February horoscopes, she talked about a lot about March, and I was like yeah, but what happens in February? And then it was so much about March that I was like what happens in February? So, I guess she was trying to prepare us. Maybe she knew she would be on like maternity leave, you know, helping out with her grandchild. So, I don't know. I don’t know. So, it sounds, everyone, like things are positive words. We just hope that you had a good first week of the month because we had no guidance for it. So, I didn't prepare adequately. And I also say want to say that I didn't feel like the app horoscopes for the day really helped me at all, even though I don't subscribe to the paid version. I don't know.

Alex: Yeah, I read the app because I was desperate for guidance.

Laura: Yeah, we're just mad.

Alex: Yeah, but we still hope you have a great month.

Laura: We still hope you have a great month. We're rooting for you even if we don't believe in ourselves.

Alex: That’s right.

Laura: And I mean, if you did have something like a really good happen, please let us know. You can always email us at astrologyzoned@gmail.com, and we would love to hear about that. And you know, I guess really, you know what? The reason why these horoscopes are not impressing us, Alex, is because literally nothing can compare it to the news of a grandchild.

Alex: It's true.

know that her Year Ahead for:

Alex: I hope she can. Apple, if you’re listening, get to reading!

Laura: And trust me, I will be looking for a salacious content within that e-book. But if you are looking for actual salacious content in a classy way, may I refer you to all of my romance novels which are published under Laura Lovely. You can find them on Amazon and Apple, and they do have salacious content that did make it past the robots on Apple and Amazon.

Alex: Right. Check those out.

Laura: Legit. I put it in there on purpose. In the meantime have a great month. Happy birthday again the Pisces. Happy birthday to baby Oliver. And we will see you guys back here at some point in April when we get the horoscopes. Oh, Susan Miller.

Alex: Absolutely. Thank you so much for listening.

Laura: Bye!

Alex: Bye!

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode
Show artwork for Astrology Zoned: A Susan Miller Fan Podcast

About the Podcast

Astrology Zoned: A Susan Miller Fan Podcast
Susan Miller Reads The Stars. We Read Susan Miller.
Welcome to Astrology Zoned: A Susan Miller Fan Podcast! Laura von Holt (Taurus) and Alex Gershuny (Scorpio), superfans of Susan Miller and longtime readers of Astrology Zone, share their (non-professional) thoughts on astrology and the woman, the mystic, the oracle herself: Susan Miller. Each month Laura and Alex will break down their Astrology Zone horoscopes and discuss why Susan Miller’s combination of exciting predictions and practical advice causes them to return to her site month after month.

About your hosts

Laura von Holt

Profile picture for Laura von Holt
Laura von Holt is an author, entrepreneur, and creative coach. Her innovative personality and brand have been an inspiration to hundreds of artists living in NYC. She is well known for her speaking series “Don’t Quit Your Daydream!” and has been featured at SXSW & Seriesfest.

Laura is a captivating voice for women of all ages, and works as a coach to harness self-expression and goal setting, while battling the patriarchy and other oppressive forces, like self-doubt! Laura is an expert in the arena because she has followed a life of passion. Whether she is writing plays that earn her top marks in the New York Times, or wild romance novels (under the pen name Laura Lovely), she is a beacon to follow – which is easy to do because she leaves a trail of glitter behind her.

Laura is the host of The Mermaid Podcast and You're Doing Great. She is proud to be the world's foremost mermaid expert and your personal cheerleader. She writes romance novels as Laura Lovely.

Alex Gershuny

Profile picture for Alex Gershuny
Alex Gershuny has been a Susan Miller enthusiast for over fifteen years. She has a master’s degree in information and library science and most recently worked at an architecture firm. Before becoming a librarian, Alex worked for many years as an editor at an arts nonprofit. Aside from Susan Miller, some of Alex’s interests include art, baths, NY1, and musical theater.