Episode 11

August 2021 Horoscopes: Susan Miller's Hot Vax Summer

Published on: 10th August, 2021


It’s going to be a rollercoaster of a month for all the signs. Sorry to all of the Leos who have birthdays early in the month because the new moon on August 8 brings trouble and unwanted surprises. But while we’re over here dealing with angry planets and aggressive beams, Susan Miller is living her best life, and Laura and Alex have been doing their best to keep up with her wild summer. The gals cover everything from Susan’s new love of Clubhouse to her successful partnership with Turner Classic Movies, and Laura talks about finally buying Susan’s much-hyped (by Susan) Astrology Zone calendar. And thanks to a lovely review from a listener, they discuss their rising signs and get honest about how many of Susan’s horoscopes they can stand to read in one month.  

Finally Laura and Alex let all the Leos know what to expect during their birthday month and they break down anxiety-provoking horoscopes for Scorpio and Taurus. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 9:10

Leo: 26:14

Scorpio: 31:42

Taurus: 37:33

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.



Laura: Hi Alex

Laura: Hi Laura. Welcome to August.

Alex: Can't believe it.

Laura: Wow, I mean, here we are still going.

Alex: Happy Leo season.

Laura: Happy Birthday Leos. Awww that's sweet. Here we are, like, I'm nearing the end of our hot vax summer.

Alex: I can't believe it. I kind of feel like it hasn't started yet.

Laura: Me either except there's also so much going on and so much to cover like

Alex: So much going on. I mean Susan's having a hot vax summer

Laura: Susan is having a hot vax summer. She's everywhere. But before we talk about Susan, we should probably do our own housekeeping because everything we learned about business we learned from Susan Miller.

Alex: We did.

Laura: So, one thing we want to let everybody know you which you may not know is that there's a transcript for almost every episode of this podcast and it lives on our website, astrologyzoned.com. Depending on how you're listening to this, it might also show up in your podcast player but it varies I'm not sure. And I want to give a big shout out to Alex because we have the transcript auto transcribed through Zoom, but Alex makes it look pretty readable.

Alex: Well thank you Laura. I mean, I try, you know, if I didn't do it every time you talked about your horoscope instead of saying what's going to happen for Taurus, you would be talking about tourists.

Laura: Like tourists on vacation?

Alex: Tourists on vacation.

Laura: Wow thank you. Thank you for making it readable, legible, and accurate.

Alex: You would be talking a lot to your fellow tourists.

Laura: Hello fellow tourists on Earth, which is true, we are all tourists. Only here for a short time. Wow. Thank you for that insider hot tip.

Alex: Hot tip.

Laura: And then the second thing we want to make sure we talk about is, first of all, we have reviews. People have left reviews for the podcast. Wow.

Alex: Thank you so much to our listeners and thank you for our listeners who wrote reviews. We love it. It warms our hearts.

Susan Miller life, you know.:

Alex: Pinkmonkey626.

Laura: Thank you Pinkmonkey. First of all, love the internet name, love, A+. They are a Taurus rising. Correct? I think they said they were Taurus rising so that's why they like to hear that we cover Taurus on the podcast because I’m a Taurus.

Alex: Yes, you are right. Pinkmonkey is a Taurus rising. And the little kind of question with within the very lovely review, thank you again for leaving it, was about rising signs and asking if we ever read our rising sign and found that maybe those were more in line with what was really happening to us in life.

Laura: Yes. So, do you want to talk about that first?

Alex: Sure

Laura: Do you read your rising sign, Alex? Do you?

Alex: I do not read my rising sign. I'm going to be completely honest because, you know, these are 10,000 word horoscopes, and I can really only handle reading a couple of them, so I don't usually read mine. But I will say, you know, I'm a Scorpio, and I think I have quite a few Scorpio tendencies, I'm not going to deny that. But when I found out that my rising sign was Capricorn, it made a lot of sense to me because I also have a lot of Capricorn qualities as well. And so it's sort of like, I used to think I don't know it sort of made me kind of understand like oh I have Scorpio, and I have Capricorn, but it makes sense to me that there were parts of Scorpio that I never really related to and I think maybe I just don't have those. But it's filled in by this rising sign stuff. So, that was very illuminating to me. That said, even though I really became very interested in the fact that I was like my rising sign, I truly do not read it.


Alex: How dare you.

Laura: I know. It’s just that I have the longest standing relationship with her. But I agree with you that because Susan, I kind of go based on what the astrologist seems to push and Susan does recommend both, but again she's so prolific that I can barely remember what she said about Taurus by the time I read the end of it, so sometimes I'll scan Libra but I'm like, I'm not retaining anything. But there are other astrologists who push your rising sign and like I subscribed to the app of Chani Nicholas and she just serves you your rising sign right away so as long as I've been reading her, I've been reading my rising sign so like her from her advice and narrative I have Libra rising, but most of the horoscopes I just read Taurus. And it wasn't until a few years ago that I even really understood the trifecta package of your sun sign, your rising sign, and your moon. Whole other thing. So I gotta say I know the most about Taurus so I feel like probably most accurately I understand Taurus and like relate to it, and I'm still learning about like the Libra life, you know. So some things when I look when I hear it I'm like, Okay, that makes sense, it makes sense, it adds another like flavor dimension, but I don't know as much about Libra. And most of the memes the astrology memes on the internet, I identify more with Taurus.

Alex: Yes, that is an interesting point. I truly never read Capricorn memes. I feel that they don't apply to me. I just read those cruel Scorpio memes and just take the abuse.

Laura: Yeah. And also I really admire, like I've watched a lot of astrology Tik Tok now, and people are always like when they're dating someone they want to know like what's your birth time and they just do your whole chart and then they want to know like your rising sign your sun sign your moon and I just like really admire people who can keep all of that in their head and then like diagnose their potential dating partner with that because I, and this might be a Taurus or Libra trait but I’m mainly just interested in myself and I'm just trying to keep myself together I keep like the multiple the multitude within like in order. So I mean just bless if anybody who has a casual or more than casual interest in astrology can keep all of it on track, like let me know. I'm still learning the signs of all of my dearest friends.

Alex: Me too. There’s a lot to learn.

Laura: So short answer: I think we don't, we glance at it, but we don't spend a lot of time on it.

Alex: No, and also, speaking of, you know, you're saying you're still learning. What does Susan say? She studied astrology for how many years and her mother had to make sure she was serious about it before she would train her, so.

Laura: Well and I mean that's the thing. That’s why you and I are not professional astrologers. We're just only good at reading Susan Miller and tracking her like patterns of prediction and her like advice syntax, you know, like how she usually frames things, but not like, I can't keep track of that, all the signs, all the rising signs, all the moon signs, and then all the planets and the stars, it's just too much.

Alex: A lot of planets.

Laura: Too much. Like I said, I’m just trying to keep the multitudes within in order.

Alex: I think you're on the right track.

Laura: But that all said thank you so much Pinkmonkey for listening. Thank you to all our listeners and thank you to everyone who has left a review or put some stars hahaha. They give stars to out astrology podcast.

Alex: That worked out so well for us.

Laura: We just slid right into that ratings system. Wow. Alright so, I think we should talk about the Note from Susan Miller, and then really, well I think we there's kind of a new segment or a new thing, but Susan Miller is so busy right now. Like oh you know the magazines when they have like “style watch” and you’re kind of like tracking different celebrities in their outfits and like did they rewear an outfit and what events they went to, I feel like we are in like Susan Miller star watch. We're like, tracking all of her virtual events and like what she's saying and like where she is all over, and she's busy so like busy businesswoman Susan Miller. So let's cover what she says in a note and also all the things we try to keep up with keep up with her, however you say that. It's a lot. I'm tired.

Alex: I'm exhausted.

Laura: I mean, what a year to be a Susan Miller Fan. It's a full-time job being a fan of Susan Miller right now but alright. A well last month, she made sure to let us know about Clubhouse. And this big partnership with Turner Classic Movies. And that her calendar is on sale, and this month, the note covered more of the same.

Alex: Yes, it was just recap, how Clubhouse went, how TCM went, and the calendar is still on sale.

Laura: But even more sale, which we'll get to.

Alex: Right. So Clubhouse. We both tuned in.

Laura: Yes, briefly.

Alex: The first night.

Laura: And then also tonight. The night that we’re recording, which is also a Thursday. She's back on Clubhouse again and we both got some brief snippets from there.

Alex: She's back on Clubhouse and she's loving it. It’s like the perfect medium for Susan. She gets to just talk about her life and tell all of her stories from like her insane adventures. I mean some of the stuff was just, it didn't really, in my view, pertain to what people were asking her but it didn't stop her from talking about various life events from 40 years ago.

Laura: Yeah, so the format: first of all there's a there's a very nice woman who is really keeping it on track. Her name is Isis and she is a quote unquote master moderator on Clubhouse, which Alex and I investigated these credentials, and this is no shade, but we were like, oh my god is that like a thing? She invented the term, she moderates a lot of things on Clubhouse, she's very, very active, so she like now has a certification program that she’s invented for master moderators. Point being, she's very experienced, which is good because you really need someone who can like walk Susan through this thing and keep things on track. So the format is that, you know, Clubhouse is an audio social media app so you can raise your hand they kind of select you into this like waiting area on the app. And then one by one everyone gets 30 seconds to do their sun sign, their rising sign if they know it, maybe where they are, and then they get to ask one question, and then Susan responds and Isis tries to keep her to just a few minutes but

Alex: Susan cannot be reined in. If she has something tangentially related that happened to her 25 years ago, she’s going to tell you about it.

Laura: Yeah, and I also just feel very happy for Susan because she sounds so happy to be talking individually to each like each of these readers and fans. You can tell that she's glowing. Like, we’re kind of like, Ok, Susan, get the point, but she seems thrilled.

Alex: Absolutely thrilled. If someone calls in from a place that she has been to on vacation, she just says lovely things about that place. And the first one there were like some technical difficulties with people who were like on the virtual line and Susan made sure that they got to everyone. She goes way over the amount of time.

Laura: Yeah, very, very generous.

Alex: She’s very generous with their time and there were some good snippets from that first one I think I was texting you like little gems of things we learned about Susan. She worked in the blouse department of Lord and Taylor, which was very exciting to me. As a former Lord and Taylor shopper. RIP to that store. I mean the actual physical store on Fifth Avenue. She had a good story about walking into the International Center of Photography and demanding a scholarship.

Laura: That was that story was, I mean when I tuned in I didn't really learn anything about astrology, but I did learn some like Susan Miller has some very particular life advice and some very particular ideas about how things work in the world and how you get things, and I'm glad it's worked for her.

ip and here's why. Because in:

Laura: And I was like wow, that's how you get to be Susan Miller and get millions of readers. Wow, wow, yeah and also, I was like, okay this is just like when she is writing the horoscopes and she says something's gonna happen then she gives you 20 options of what it might be that's like the, the, the live version of that.

Alex: Yeah, yeah. So I think Clubhouse is here to stay. She seems to really enjoy it.

Laura: I think she’s going to be doing them again. I would like to get on one when I, I hope there'll be a night when I'm available and I can wait. Because I do want to ask a question. But I also am nervous because I want her to know about this podcast, with them I’m also like, we really… I don't think I'll mention the podcast.

Alex: No, I don't think we can.

Laura: I think we're just cultural critics, Alex. That’s just what we are.

Alex: I can come to terms with that. That’s ok.

Laura: But anyway, so anyway, Clubhouse is hoppin’. Susan loves it. Oh. So Alex, did you hear how she pronounced that one planet’s name?

Alex: Yes, I thought this was very interesting. Okay. So Laura and I say Ur-ay-nus and then inevitably giggle. Susan says Ur-ah-nus.

Laura: Oh, Ur-ah-nus.

Alex: Yeah.

Laura: I wonder if that's a generational thing.

Alex: Maybe it is,

Laura: I don't know. Interesting. Okay, so everyone, it's Ur-ah-nus. Alex and I will say whatever comes out of our mouth first.

Alex: Yeah, I don't know that I can change all those years of saying Ur-ay-nus, but I’ll try.

Laura: So if you guys want to get on Clubhouse, again in her Note from Susan Miller she gives you a special link and a way to sign up and tells you all about it and you can ask her a question so just be prepared to wait because, for instance tonight, she was supposed to go from 5:00 to 8:00 and Alex checked in at 9:30 she was still going.

Alex: I said to Laura: I don’t think I know how to use Clubhouse because Susan’s still on.

Laura: I was like: No, it's not recorded, so if you can hear them, and you can get in the room, it's still going.

Alex: She's a trooper.

Laura: So, so generous. So, I mean, good for her. She's getting to talk to her readers. Bless. Okay, so the calendar. Alex, the calendar.

Alex: Well, I applaud you for finally giving Susan Miller some money.

Laura: Yes, you guys, I’ve only been reading first goes for 15 years and I finally gave the woman some money. So she's been keeps putting it on sale and she keeps talking on Clubhouse and on Turner Classic Movies, which we have to cover that too, but yes, so she's talking about how you can check like daily things in the calendar to see what's going to be a good day or what's going on. So the calendar drops to $9.99, and I said to Alex: I'm gonna do it. I'm going to buy the calendar we can live for the rest of the year by the guide of Susan Miller. So I bought the calendar and then I was checking out, and the shipping options are only UPS or FedEx. So the calendar cost me $9.99, and the cheapest shipping option to New York City was $11.

Alex: Outrageous.

Laura: Outrageous. The shipping was more than the calendar. And I want to say, I have sold calendars. People are not going to know this, but back in the day, I had an alter ego named von Hottie, and I took her I went around all New York City, now I sound like Susan Miller, I went all around New York City, I took photos of myself in a bathing suit, in like surprise kind of guerilla style at famous landmarks, and I printed these photos and I put like advice. I am Susan Miller, oh my god, I'm just training to be Susan Miller. I put advice on these calendars, like my best funny little pro tips, and I sold them, but I shipped them from my apartment. But I used USPS and that is far cheaper.

Alex: I don't know what Susan is thinking, and a lot of her advice for people on Clubhouse when they called to ask about their business was that she would tell them to work with a fulfillment center.

Laura: Okay, so that also confusing me because you would think there would be better options, but there weren’t. Ok also so the calendar did arrive today but I was out, and my mail room because of covid has closes early. And so I didn't get back in time to pick it up but they send you a little photo so you can see where the package is from when they send you the email in my building that you have a package, and it came from Sarah Miller. And I was like, who's Sarah Miller? Is that Susan's real name? Or legal name?

Alex This is a real mystery.

Laura: It's not her daughter's name, right?

Alex: No, her daughters are Chrissy and Diana, I think.

Laura: Yes, that sounds right. Sarah Miller. Is this like the Wizard of Oz when you realize there's someone behind the curtain?

Alex: I'm in shock.

Laura: I'm sorry that I just sprung this on you on the podcast and if you don't want to talk about your horoscopes and just want to talk about Sarah Miller, we can.

Alex: Wait what if her real name is Sarah and she was like my professional name is Susan?

Laura: Well as a woman who has a pen name for my romance novels, I'm like, that might be legit. Or maybe Sarah is like her given name and Little Mom used to call her Susan, so she's just Susan Miller, but maybe Sarah is like like born name, you know. But we have to do some digging and solve this mystery. So I feel like even though it costs $11, it's already given me a lot. Alex: That’s true. It is outrageous, though.

Laura: The shipping is outrageous. And I was like, oh ground, so I was like, it will only take a few days and it only took two because I'm in New York, so it must be close by, the fulfillment center. But, um, yeah, $11 for shipping on a $9.99 calendar. Everyone, thank you for your condolences. But you know, I took one for the team. I took one for the team. And on the next podcast in September, I'll be able to tell you how I've been living by the Susan Miller calendar, and how that's going. But, yeah, but yeah we will do some investigation, I think, when I get the package we will do some more investigation.

Alex: Congratulations, you’re the proud owner of the calendar.

Laura: The:

Alex: Let's talk about it

Laura: Turner Classic Movie Night. Okay so this this was like fun like professional development evening because Alex came over to my apartment. Thank you, vaccines. Alex come to my apartment I made her dinner.

Alex: Delicious.

Laura: Thank you, it was a little bit of so I’m in cooking club, everybody, and each week someone picks a recipe and everyone cooks together on Zoom, so Alex got to partake in cooking club. So we had zucchini cakes and cold sesame noodles. And then we watched Turner Classic Movies and lucky for us, the movie was “Love in the Afternoon” with Audrey Hepburn and Susan Miller was on screen talking with the host from Turner Classic Movies, and it was a night all about Taurus. Yeah, so I remember she said something about, I don't remember what she said about Tauruses because I got very distracted by the movie, but it was basically like everyone love Taurus, and why Audrey Hepburn is so charming, these two Tauruses in this movie have great chemistry, etc. Then we watch the movie, “Love in the Afternoon,” there is a band the movie that plays a song called “Hot Paprika.” And I misheard it as as “Heart Paprika,” and then was like, That's amazing. So really, and then so and then I spent the rest of the movie just taking notes on the movie and thinking how I could make it into a better romance novel because I didn't really like the age gap in it, and I didn't like a lot, we’ll you know it’s from the 50s, there's a lot of stuff I didn’t like, but “Heart Paprika”—home run. So thank you Susan Miller for introducing me and Turner Classic Movies for introducing me to “Love in the Afternoon.” If any of my future romance novels resemble the plot of this movie, you will know why.

Alex: Exactly. It is not a secret. And when Laura finds massive success with her band Heart Paprika, you will also know why.

Laura: But I did feel very again proud of Susan Miller. She had a cute little setup. Like she put some flowers on her desk and had good lighting. And I'm wondering if Courtney maybe helped her, you know.

Alex: I bet she did. She gave Courtney a shout-out in this Note. She called her a crackerjack executive assistant.

Laura: Wow, Courtney. Great job. Employee of the month. Wow Courtney Wow. But yeah she looked great. She seemed very happy to be talking about Tauruses. I have the feeling they edited what she says down to like a 30-second thing in between the movie. And then, and then there was another movie after and she was going to speak more but by then it was like 11 o'clock and Alex and I were like, Susan Miller star watch is a full-time job, you guys.

Alex: Yeah, and she did that for four weeks.

Laura: For four weeks. Yes, they're all on my DVR but I haven't watched the other signs. But anyway we did watch it. It was way better for her than the CBD water. She seemed very happy. She looked super cute. You know, Susan just loves to connect with her readers.

Alex: She really does.

Laura: She really does. And she does seem to really love these old movies so you know I’m proud for her that she got, she got the right fit for a partnership.

Alex: Yes, and she ends her Note by saying that she was so happy it was a success and thank you for all your nice outpouring of love for the series. So, I mean, if I worked at a different channel and I saw Susan do that, I would hire her for something else

Laura: Definitely. She did a great job. I think, you know, being edited is the key for Susan Miller.

Alex: It is the key.

Laura: Although she did say in her Note about, somewhere about the team, or maybe this was in the lead up to her horoscopes, which were on time, she did talk about I think on one of social media posts about the team of, like, editors that go through and some post for the developer, some post for the app, and some post to the website, and there are two different teams and the website is more complicated, which always confuses me because, like, blogspot.com. I don't know, I don't know, so many questions again. Who is Sarah Miller?! Is Sarah Miller actually running the website? Who are these developers? But yeah, she did give a lot of shout outs to this team of people that are working to keep the Susan Miller empire running and the horoscopes were on time. I don't feel as disconcerted as I have in previous months now that I'm like I guess I'm adapting to the idea that she's gonna flip flop every month and it's the times we live in, just the times we live in.

Alex: Exactly. We just have to accept it. It will be easier for all of us if we just give in to it. Laura: Exactly. So I think that concludes Susan Miller Note, Susan Miller star watch.

Alex: Susa Miller star watch is exhausting, but we’re here for you, Susan, and we're here for you listeners, and we'll let you know what she's up to.

Laura: Yeah. And with that I think we should get into the horoscopes.

Alex: Let's do it, let's talk about Leo.

Laura: Okay Happy Birthday, Leo! Awww they're like the like bright shiny lion heads of the zodiac and it's your birthday. Everybody's usually like, Leo season work work work. So, I noticed a few things in this horoscope for you, Leo, and I think they were kind of consistent other horoscopes, mainly mine and Alex’s, since that’s all we read, but it does seem to be that there's a little bit of a bumpy time in the beginning of the month, but then the end of the month is really lovely, so we just want to say anybody with a birthday in the early part of the month, sorry, but it gets better.

Alex: It does get better, but it sounds really aggressive at the beginning. She says actually said that Uranus sends an angry beam to the sun, which I really felt was very aggressive

Laura: That was very aggressive and made me think of like an evil care bear stare.

Alex: Oh no.

Laura: I know. I was scared. A little bit scared. She did also say that you should stay optimistic because everything happens for a reason. So if cracks show up in one of the foundations of your life you can decide to stay and fix those fissures or leave for greener pastures.

Alex: I thought it was interesting that she said everything happens for a reason because it's a very specific way of looking at life. So it's interesting to hear that she was a believer in that.

Laura: She said August 6 was specifically going to be difficult and maybe in the house of professional achievements, but then she also said, like, you might get the advice, don't take this personally, because it's just business. And then she said that she never believes that advice but she believes everything is personal, and that other people who are saying that are just trying to quiet their conscious because they like they caused the problem and they’re attempting to dismiss your feelings and shut you down. So she thinks that everything is personal, which means she's on your side Leo. If you're feeling this personally, and you take it personally, she's like, you should, it's a little bit personal, but it will get better. Which I guess is reverse comforting, but also I'm like if it’s happening to every Leo, it can’t be too personal.

Alex: Yes, that's right. I often think that.

Laura: Yeah, so I don't know Leo, just sounds a little bit rough. Chin up. Chin up, you beautiful lioness.

Alex: Yes. So let's just also say the new moon this month is August 8 and the full moon is August 22, so keep that in mind. The new moon she says is a tough one. That's the one the beginning of the month.

Laura: You might feel overwhelmed.

Alex: What else did she say?

Laura: Well, she said that the new moon could mark a different outcome, it could be related to the thing that happens on August six, or it might make you feel that you reached the end of your rope and you'll break with your past, or maybe your employer moved to another company or just something else you'll make a break with. But then we go to another beam but this is a golden being from Jupiter, which she said was going to warm your most important relationships in your personal life and in business, so there might be a break but then things might look up, and then you know what she said, Alex?

Alex: Tell me.

Laura: There's another peach of a full moon.

Alex: She loves a peach of a full moon.

Laura: I love a peach of a full moon.

Alex: Who doesn’t?

Laura: Just a peach of a full moon!

Alex: Ok, well, that’s great!

Laura: That peach of your full moon—the peach of your full moon!—which I mean, a moon looks like a little peach emoji, the whole thing’s adorable, will be in your opposite sign of Aquarius and it will light your seventh house of partnership and marriage. And this full moon will be sweet as sugar and perfect in every way. It means that a partner in love or business will have good news for you and it will likely be new so wonderful that you will be thrilled.

Alex: Wow that's very nice.

Laura: Yes, yes. And then she did end the month with one money warning. Something about Mars. Mars was wants you to pay attention to your income and your cash flow, there might be higher expenses. But this high spending will only be temporary and will simmer down once Mars leaves Virgo on September 14. She also said in multiple venues on Clubhouse and in the horoscopes that September is going to be a better month for everyone. So Leo's if it's a little bit bumpy for you, it'll get, it'll get better. Regardless, Leos, have a wonderful birthday.

Alex: Yeah, she did say that. She also said this year has been very up and down, like good month, bad month, alternating. Leos, also you should refer to your horoscope for this, we won't go into the details, but Susan gives a very detailed calendar of when you should and should not be signing agreements.

Laura: Yes, and it's like a list of very specific dates and some of them are good, some are bad, some of them are middle, and we don't want to mess it up so you should go to Susan Miller's website and look it up for yourself, so we don't give you the wrong information.

Alex: Yes. And in fact, she uses this part of the forecast where she writes all these dates down to say, it's a lot of dates so buy my calendar if you want to keep track of them. Always a businesswoman.

Laura: Always a businesswoman. All right, well, okay, so yes buy the calendar, look at the website, let us know how your birthday goes, Leo. Happy Birthday. All right, Alex. Do you want to tell us what's in store for Scorpio, or Scorpio rising?

Alex: That’s right, Laura. That was very inclusive.

Laura: Thank you.

Alex: Well, it's similar to what we just talked about in that the beginning of the month is tough. She says it's going to be a topsy turvy month, filled with all kinds of unusual events, and she goes, she talks a lot about how many surprises there are going to be. And like it's such a roller coaster and truly, it's not something I enjoy. I feel like all of my life choices are made to avoid a roller coaster. And this month is just bringing it. She says the month is replete with surprises. That’s maybe the worst thing I could read in a horoscope.

Laura: Alex I feel nervous for you. I just feel nervous.

Alex: So she begins by saying that on August 6 something bad could happen at work, which is not great, because I'm currently in a job where I really don't need anything bad to happen.

Laura: Oh no.

Alex: She says you may be unsure about your emerging role in your company. And then on top of that, she says you're going to get unexpected news.

Laura: Oh god.

Alex: I know. My notes are just a frowny face on that one. But then a few paragraphs down she says that we Scorpios deserve a promotion. And so we should accept it.

Laura: Well, there you go. If there's a shake up with your position, accept the other position. Alex: Right, yeah. So that's the work stuff that made me a little nervous but we'll see. Apparently this is a really great time for us to like redecorate do something with our homes. She says it's the best time in 12 years to move or improve the look and value of your present space. So, that sounds good.

Laura: That sounds nice.

Alex: Yeah. Um, August 22, that's the full moon, she says it's going to be great, we're going to get a stroke of dazzling luck just when we need it most. So that's good , that's right on, she said you know, it gets better as the month goes on. She says, as for love, things look good. Exclamation point. Those are her exact words.

Laura: Well, she keeps sending you fleets of Cupid.

Alex: She does. I mean, I don't know, she didn't mention them this month, I don't know if it's just because it goes without saying that they’re still around. Um, but, you know, Venus and Mars, they were together last month. Remember?

Laura: Oh, yeah, they’re reunion. I felt it all month long.

love, though, she feels that:

Laura: Well, Alex you gotta decorate your apartment, so it’s ready for love.

Alex: I've got to decorate. Get ready for love. You know, you may remember last month she told me to dress nicely when I went to the post office.

Laura: Yes. And how did that go?

Alex: I did not even go to the post office last month, is how that went.

Laura: That's why you didn't find love, Alex.

Alex: That's clearly why I didn’t find love.

Laura: Clearly.

Alex: She ends, while I do think that the end of the month will be better, unfortunately she ends this horoscope by reminding us that Merc retro is coming. September 26 through August 18. So give August all you've got.

Laura: Okay, carpe diem.

Alex: Carpe diem in August because when Merc retro comes, you'll be having trouble.

Laura: You know what I don't understand about something? I’m gonna tell you. Apple always likes to announce their new products in September and it's always during Merc retro. And then I'm like, well I can’t buy anything until Merc goes out of retro.

Alex: How is someone not advising them against this?

Laura: If they want to hire me as a consultant, I will advise them when Mercury is in retrograde.

Alex: How is there not one person at Apple that is bold enough to bring this up?

Laura: I don't know if it's exactly in Merc retro but they will often announce things in September and it's either the shadow of Merc retro or in Merc retro, which by the way, everyone, refer to our Mercury in retrograde episode if you need more clarification, but I just was like, ok, get ready, but, like, it’s a tech company. I just think it's weird. I just think it's weird.

Alex: I think it's really weird. I think it's very suspicious, actually.

Laura: Very suspicious. I think that either they are run by Mercury, or they have an in.

Alex: Oh my god, what if Mercury is like at the helm?

Laura: Mmm hmm. Sorry anyway. Anything else for Scorpio, Alex?

Alex: No, just Scorpios, I just want to tell you to hang in there because September is going to be better, and August is going to be fine by the end of the month. She says it's going to end gently and sweetly as a little lamb.

Laura: Oh, baaaaa. Sweet. That’s my lamb impression.

Alex: That was very cute. I felt that there was a lamb in the room with me.

Laura: Just a sweet little lamb.

Alex: So good luck, Scorpios.

Laura: And Scorpio rising. Good luck.

Alex: And Scorpio rising. Exactly. So speaking of, Laura, would you like to talk about Taurus and Taurus rising?

your horoscope for August of:

Alex: I've never heard her use that metaphor before.

Laura: No, but I did enjoy the like the like end of August as, like, Jeeves. Great, so like you, Alex, said that you were nervous in Scorpio, I got immediately anxious reading Taurus because she said that the new moon in Leo on August 8 will be difficult and it will appear in your fourth house of home. And I got immediately like nervous, also because remember, there was something where I was going to have a difficult time and it was in like March/April and I was figuring out my lease, renewing my lease, and I was like I can't do, I can't. But, um, so she said, something might have with your residential space or property owner rent or family matter and will draw your attention quickly. You may hear that you have to move or that you'll have to contend with new psycho neighbors next door. And you know what? The apartment next to me is moving out.

Alex: Oh no.

Laura: I know, and they’re the kind of people you never would have imagined move in. Also, maybe you and your partner may have to relocate for a job, your roommate may make a sudden departure, or maybe a family member might be moving. She used an example of snowbirds, like your parents saying, we've decided to move to a warmer climate, or maybe just somebody has big news to share.

Alex: It's likely one of those 85 things could happen to you.

Laura: So, I don't know, but I got really, really nervous and so that made me anxious. Then she said something about Ur-ay-nus, Ur-ah-nus, whatever that planet is, the nature of it as a sweep away anything that it deems no longer part of your productive future, and it will ask in the blink of an eye, and usually we don't see the news coming, but the maturity that we gain from this change will last forever, and give you a patina of wisdom that others will notice and admire in you. Yeah, right. And I was like, great. I don't want to be mature about change. That’s such a Taurus thing to say.

Alex: Yeah, well it's kind of like not, it's not worth it.

Laura: Yeah. I’m like, ugh, be mature. So anyway, fingers crossed that it’s not too dramatic but Alex, I was literally reading this and I was like I'm gonna ask Alex that if my house gets too scary, Can I come to her house?

Alex: Of course.

Laura: Thank you. I'll cook for you. We can watch more Turner Classic Movies.

Alex: Oh my god we can watch all the ones that we DVRed.

Laura: Yeah. Alright so Tauruses, but don't worry Taurus. Things are looking up with the full moon, because the full moon comes on August 22 in Aquarius and it will be one of the nicest of the year. It will be all about your career and bring rewards for past work well done. You might get a promotion, a new position, or made-in-heaven publicity. She also says that she loves that this full moon will be culminating in your 10th house of honors and awards. I don't know maybe I’ll get an award. I didn't apply for an award, but maybe I'll get one.

Alex: You might get one anyway,

Laura: Yeah, I might just get one. Jeeves might show up with a little award on his tray. She does say that Jupiter is conjunct the full moon so the sky's the limit. And don't think this is a common experience. It's extraordinary. She did say a full moon usually harks back to actions you've already taken for which you will now get closure. But sometimes you can get a great opportunity at a full moon, and you have to make up your mind quickly on a full moon. So if you have a job like pending and call check on the job. I’m just saying. She says anything that happens on this full moon is likely to pay well too because Jupiter expands and enlarges all of that it touches, in this case your salary and benefits, or if self-employed, your fees.

Alex: Hmmm.

Laura: Yeah, I don't know. Look it up. Okay, now my running joke with Susan Miller—your running joke is that she's always telling you about romance—my running joke is that she's always telling me, a Taurus, about how famous I'm going to be. And she continues in this one.

Alex: She says every month that you're gonna be so famous.

, you know. So, she says that:

Alex: Great.

Laura: And then she said this, I love this quote: You may be thinking, family, property, and career; is there any room for romance?! Yes! I know.

Alex: Had you been thinking that?

Laura: No, but then I read it and I was like, she's right, it's already a lot. That's why I couldn't think about it. So she said there's lots of room for love and fun and Mars entered my fifth house of love in Virgo on July 29 and will stay there until September 14 so this month and part of next month will be outstanding for fun and love the best you've seen in a very long time. And because Venus has moved into the fifth house, she tells me that the first half of August will be doubly special and you'll have so much going for you, and August 11 is actually great for a first date because Venus is in sync with Pluto, but I don't know what that means. She might have a chic haircut or pick up some new things to wear or, or schedule Botox or fillers. Prior to September 14 because that's when Mercury goes into retrograde and what we learned in our Merc retro episode is don’t get cosmetic stuff done during Merc retro. So pro tip, August, if you want to get stuff done on your face.

Alex: That's right. And also make sure that Venus is not in retrograde when you get plastic surgery.

Laura: So any Tauruses who were looking for Botox and fillers, go now.

Alex: Yes, I'm a little dismayed that she told you to get Botox but we can breeze by that because I say this every month.

Laura: Yes, I think our feelings are known on the patriarchy and like women not being allowed to age and etc, etc. But anyway if, but no judgment if that's your thing, so go get it now. We have some other opinions about being forced to do things. Also, one more thing, Tauruses, if you were hoping to take a romantic trip choose to leave Friday, August 20, and stay at least a long weekend, or a whole week, go spontaneously, it'll be really fun. Yeah, I know, I know, and I am not going anywhere that weekend because I have concert tickets so Jason Mraz at the South Street Seaport.

Alex: Great. She didn't say anything about you going to a concert.

Laura: No, but it's a lucky weekend for love, so

Alex: Wear your best mask.

Laura: Yeah, I’m going to wear my best mask.

Alex: It's interesting, just on that, that point of encouraging vacations, this month, Susan didn't have anything to say about Covid safety.

Alex: No, and I really miss Susan Miller epidemiologist because last year she was really on it when she's predicting spikes on surges. And she hasn't really mentioned anything. So, and we are having a surge now in the United States with the Delta variant and other places, everywhere, really, the Delta variant, and she did not say anything about it. So, we have no advice to give on that other than the CDC, which I mean, you know, if those are the epidemiologist you prefer. But we also like the astrological perspective.

Alex: Exactly. Maybe next month.

Laura: Maybe next month show let us know. Yeah, well, because she mentioned Pluto and I remember Pluto being a big deal and Jupiter in like predicting certain surges so then I was like, interesting that she didn't catch that. But you know Susan Miller is living your best life, she's on TV, she's on Clubhouse like, I mean she's doing all these lovely virtual events, maybe it's just like I forgot to tell them about Covid because I'm having great success while in my house.

Alex: Yeah, exactly.

Laura: Well, I think that is everything for Leo, Scorpio, Taurus, Leo rising, Scorpio rising, and Taurus rising. And, you know, next month, stay tuned, we will be telling you how I lived my life by Susan Miller's calendar.

Alex: Yeah, this could be a real game changer.

Laura: And then we'll find out who is Sarah Miller.

Alex: I hope we find out. I can't live another day not knowing.

Laura: We’ll find out.

Alex: I hope the calendar is so good that next year you want to buy it full price.

Laura: Me too, but I would like to pick it up instead of having it shipped.

Alex: Maybe we can go to the fulfillment center.

Laura: Ooh that would be fun. Field trip. Alright, well thank you everyone for listening. Don't forget to go to our website astrologyzoned.com if you want to read the transcript to this episode. Leave us a review like all of our other lovely listeners who have left us reviews, and as Susan Miller said, Tell a friend. Bye!

Alex: Bye!

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About the Podcast

Astrology Zoned: A Susan Miller Fan Podcast
Susan Miller Reads The Stars. We Read Susan Miller.
Welcome to Astrology Zoned: A Susan Miller Fan Podcast! Laura von Holt (Taurus) and Alex Gershuny (Scorpio), superfans of Susan Miller and longtime readers of Astrology Zone, share their (non-professional) thoughts on astrology and the woman, the mystic, the oracle herself: Susan Miller. Each month Laura and Alex will break down their Astrology Zone horoscopes and discuss why Susan Miller’s combination of exciting predictions and practical advice causes them to return to her site month after month.

About your hosts

Laura von Holt

Profile picture for Laura von Holt
Laura von Holt is an author, entrepreneur, and creative coach. Her innovative personality and brand have been an inspiration to hundreds of artists living in NYC. She is well known for her speaking series “Don’t Quit Your Daydream!” and has been featured at SXSW & Seriesfest.

Laura is a captivating voice for women of all ages, and works as a coach to harness self-expression and goal setting, while battling the patriarchy and other oppressive forces, like self-doubt! Laura is an expert in the arena because she has followed a life of passion. Whether she is writing plays that earn her top marks in the New York Times, or wild romance novels (under the pen name Laura Lovely), she is a beacon to follow – which is easy to do because she leaves a trail of glitter behind her.

Laura is the host of The Mermaid Podcast and You're Doing Great. She is proud to be the world's foremost mermaid expert and your personal cheerleader. She writes romance novels as Laura Lovely.

Alex Gershuny

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Alex Gershuny has been a Susan Miller enthusiast for over fifteen years. She has a master’s degree in information and library science and most recently worked at an architecture firm. Before becoming a librarian, Alex worked for many years as an editor at an arts nonprofit. Aside from Susan Miller, some of Alex’s interests include art, baths, NY1, and musical theater.